THE ART OF SELF ACCEPTANCE

Dearest reader,

As a kid , I hardly ever kept up or  matched my play friends' energies. I found the prospect of playing out in the sun till lunch exhausting and unfair. "Why are kids supposed to play all morning then spend the afternoon napping?" I once complained to mum, "because that's what kids do" she quipped; matter-of-factly. I believed her, although that did little to alleviate my dread every weekend morning, otherwise known as playtime.

Years later, I have understood (and barely made peace with) an unfortunate fact about me. I am not wired to enjoy or be good at athletics and ball games-- especially ball games. My limb coordination is non-existent, and seeing me kick or throw a ball is a comic endeavor. While it may seem irrelevant at this point in my life (I am unlikely to ever get a job rejection because I could not throw a ball in a basket, for instance) ,it was not always like that. In a society that dictates athleticism and machoism as a core pillar of being male, you can imagine how hard a time I had embracing this. Like many less athletically endowed boys and males before me, the ridicule I endured throughout my boyhood and adolescence still haunts me. 

But I am not merely writing to tell you embarrassing facts about me. Instead, I want to pass a simple point along. We grow up listening to a barrage of messages about who we are, and how we should show up in the world. As soon as we can perceive sound, we are flooded with cues ,tips ,dos and don'ts. Some of these are well intentioned and protect us from setting our homes on fire or chopping off our fingers with that knife that (in a toddler's eyes) looks like a fun, shiny toy. Most of them, however, serve no purpose other than molding us into vessels meant to fit into neat boxes of less-than-accurate norms established before us. 

At its core, self acceptance is developing an awareness of and an appreciation for all your quirks and oddities. As you grow, making peace with your weaknesses - those parts of yourself that you recoil at; is imperative. Until you can liberate your brain from the discomfort that comes with inhabiting your own skin, you  never truly show up in the world in  the ways that matter.  Lawyers are often told" you are only as good as your weakest argument". True to form, you are only ever as confident as your comfort level with your nastiest insecurity.