Tales of El Benoit

  There’s an art to saying goodbye  To those faded jeans you thought would last forever  And a friendship that once thrived with a now long-dead version of you  To the meal you obsessed over for a full two weeks  Or a romantic interest that should have worked out  To a song you swore you’d never get tired of  And the connection that was nothing more than a lust-fueled addiction  To that night you felt most alive  Or the month you could barely speak   It’s imprecise, as all art  You are compelled to constantly relive these goodbyes  Like when you spot similar jeans on a mannequin downtown  Or when you bump into that friend at a friend of a friend’s wedding  And when you scroll too far down to cheesy texts  from your short-lived romantic pursuits  And another night passes  With you lying awake Pondering if you should relish that meal again

We are only human As i fell asleep last night  I remembered the unread texts  deliberately ignored to indicate to anyone who cared  that they shouldn't bother As I fell asleep last night  anger paralyzed my exhausted brain I turned up the volume of white noise  to shut down the muddled thoughts that tormented my waking hours  As I fell asleep last night  I confronted my soul  for denying me the gift of peace a tear welled up in my eye   but could not stream down As I fell asleep last night  I pleaded with my guardian angel to grant me the serenity of a last night  I vowed to do better in my next life Seems like he is vacationing

  1. it doesn't get better, or worse. it gets balanced. you learn to appreciate the flow of good and bad days, or weeks, or months , or years. you gain perspective. 2. the real solution? holding on. with everything you've got. nothing beats hope  3. cash will perpetually stress you out. you can never have enough 4. at the end of the day, the day gon' end. life goes on. painful, but true  5. often times, it really is what it is. control is an illusion. joy comes from learning to surrender to fate more times than you are comfortable to admit  6. no one is inherently bad or good. no one has it all figured out. most people you meet are just flawed and insecure humans trying to make it through, much like you. we are more alike than we are different.  7.you are your habits. don't gloss over it. learn to be honest with yourself. no. really honest with yourself. 8.you will be okay. time plays a trick on us; it's called healing. 9.please watch news. please read. stay cur...

  lately I have been writing a lot in my head .I pen wholesome essays as I drift to sleep ;only to erase them and draft up fresher ones. this is the brain's idea of dumping thoughts without committing them to paper. a way of escapism. because the topic in question is too close to home. the type of thing you only voice to tipsy friends so that no one remembers you saying it the next day. loneliness is an interesting idea. you always hope it remains an idea until one evening, it comes knocking at your door; slowly seeping in through the wall cracks without caring for an invite. it begins as a knot in your chest that builds into an aching, a longing. sometimes for times past; when you felt alive. sometimes for moments that never were, but that you daydreamt more often than you care to recall.      so you cope. in ways that fill you with shame. browsing dark corners of the internet that exist for the likes of you. you cling onto every strangers gaze, linger onto casual h...

  I swear I'm boring  I promise you foul-morning-breath kisses  and burnt toast for breakfast  as I crack hard at your half baked tales  and harder at your dry jokes I swear I'm boring  the only adrenaline we pursue will be between silk sheets as we engage in sinful play and make funny looking babies  I swear I'm boring  I will gossip about the neighbors and online strangers as we will indulge in trash TV  and make ham sandwiches for lunch I swear I'm boring  we will sleep through the mornings  dreaming of immense wealth as we live on meagre wages  and leave ambitions to the ambitious   I swear I'm boring  we will live quietly and honorably  as we raise our funny looking babies to be nothing more than average citizens  and paint our house yellow  I swear I'm boring  when we finally wither of old age our story will be that of  a dull love and companionship but never one of betrayal

 I  hate that you hold my hand  Instead of intertwining our fingers  I hate that you peck me on the cheek When you have my lips to devour  I hate how tense your shoulders feels  When I pretend to casually massage them  I hate that our gazes never lock  Every time I stare at you  I've sensed how you hold your breath  When I joke about intimacy  I've sensed the rigidity your body curls into  When I try to linger on for a hug  I've not had a dream in a while  And only your face showed up when I had one  I want to believe I'm wrong  I want to think that the feelings are unrequited  But it's in the brushes you give my hand  The silly, random nicknames you assign me  The music you play for me when we're alone  It's in the way you understand my silence  Or the attention you pay to my excited ramblings  It's in the random  messages you send me  It's in your need to keep my jum...

  There is a flicker of light  In every darkness; A moon for the darkest nights And there's a tinge of dark In every brightness; A shadow for the sunniest days  There's a dash of bad In every seemingly entire good, And a swish of good In every eerily ruined bad, Nothing really is  Just as nothing really is not  Life is never a definite agenda It's not an ideal goal Or a precise blueprint  It has neither a menu  Nor a manual It's messed up and perfect Thrilling and devastating  Depressing and overwhelming  All in one  It's a jumble of situations Events, fates, and circumstances  Some will knock you off Others will lift you so high Some will scar you deeply  Others will heal you greatly  There is no pattern, no sequence No set of permanent instructions It does not always reward the deserving Or punish the wrongdoers There are no perks for the humane Or a scolding for the heartless  It's uncertain In a chillingly certain...